Men's Work/Women's Work
I grew up in a house where Mom got a job once we were all in school, and where Dad did the laundry. I like doing laundry. It's an easy job. Folding clothes is something I can do on auto-pilot, and everything smells clean and feels soft coming out of the dryer. Maybe that's why Dad liked doing it, too. He could do it while he watched football or golf or basketball or whatever season it was on TV.
I like doing dishes and scrubbing pots and pans when I'm upset about something. Suds, hot water, stainless steel and a scotch pad, all brought together in a flurry of activity while I think think think about why I'm upset and how to resolve it.
I cut the front yard today, and I think DH may have thought that I thought that he should be doing it. Not the case at all...he's gonna do the back, which is bigger but out of sight.
DH is very good about home repair. Before we got married, my MIL told me, "(DH) likes to do things that have value. He isn't at all interested in chores that just need to be done again, but he likes doing things that won't need to be done again. Also, he isn't very good about doing things promptly. He does them when he gets around to them." This was very useful advice, because I grew up with a father who, when he wanted something done, wanted it done NOW. As a result of this conversation with my MIL, DH and I were able to avoid some early misunderstandings. I told him, "I won't often ask you to do something. But when I do, it contains an implied NOW at the end."
Do many of you divide your home maintenance and upkeep and day-to-day chores into "men's work" and "women's work"? I wouldn't think about installing shelves or an attic fan, because DH enjoys that kind of work. OTOH, I don't think there's any housework he won't do...but there's some that he doesn't do unless asked.
I like doing dishes and scrubbing pots and pans when I'm upset about something. Suds, hot water, stainless steel and a scotch pad, all brought together in a flurry of activity while I think think think about why I'm upset and how to resolve it.
I cut the front yard today, and I think DH may have thought that I thought that he should be doing it. Not the case at all...he's gonna do the back, which is bigger but out of sight.
DH is very good about home repair. Before we got married, my MIL told me, "(DH) likes to do things that have value. He isn't at all interested in chores that just need to be done again, but he likes doing things that won't need to be done again. Also, he isn't very good about doing things promptly. He does them when he gets around to them." This was very useful advice, because I grew up with a father who, when he wanted something done, wanted it done NOW. As a result of this conversation with my MIL, DH and I were able to avoid some early misunderstandings. I told him, "I won't often ask you to do something. But when I do, it contains an implied NOW at the end."
Do many of you divide your home maintenance and upkeep and day-to-day chores into "men's work" and "women's work"? I wouldn't think about installing shelves or an attic fan, because DH enjoys that kind of work. OTOH, I don't think there's any housework he won't do...but there's some that he doesn't do unless asked.
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In the yard, I run the grass and she runs the flower gardens that rim the yards. The boundary between them is kind of a DMZ, patrolled by me and the weedwhacker. Any flowers try to trespass onto my grass, either the mower (which sometimes runs a preemptive strike a few inches into the garden) gets them or the whacker cleans up a few minutes later. Sometimes this creates tension (she has a soft spot for those errant flowers) but I figure a simple rule is the best rule.
Loved the description of the DMZ, Dave. Nobody in this house really likes any kind of housework, but if we didn't keep up with at least some things, we'd lose the little boy, y'know?
Mary does the in-house jobs like cleaning, washing floors, laundry, dishes, cooking, etc. I occasionally help her out in some of these, and often Sunday supper is done by me.
I do virtually all the mowing, tree trimming and gardening. I also do the repairs on the truck and any house repairs. I also do the snow shovelling; although, Mary does that a fair amount if I am at work when we get a dump of snow.
The division of labour has come because of our schedules. Most of the work Mary does is done while I am at work. As well, I don't like the work she does and she doesn't like the work I do.
We're a mix. But, if my spouse happens to close in on my car's particulars I'll automatically go into a sports time-out signal. I possess the don't touch my car gene. Otherwise we work well together.
Replacing a kitchen garbage disposal as a couple implies our union works well. That is not a joke. It happened.
Knowing when to toss out head and thought stuff no longer worth keeping in a relationship is something we do well. A manly man role and a little womanly role don't fit our script. It's not that we wrote a perfect script for this marriage because we wrote our own before meeting. Editing is good.
Enough about us, our independent film: what was your question?
My wife washed the car today while I was posting a blog and logging into geocaching. We did yardwork together although I tend to do it more often. I vacuum when she reminds me. She does the laundry. I do more of the planned meals, but she's much better at tossing things together at the last minute.
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