Aspiring to Leadership
Mormons aren’t “supposed” to look for higher callings. Every calling is important, we are told, from the nursery leader to the Young Women’s music specialist to the home teacher to the stake president - all callings matter, and if you’re faithful and diligent and serve to the best of your ability, you’ll be rewarded for it no matter what the job.
I have been essentially callingless for almost three years. I had a brief, happy burst of engagement as activities committee chair, which was an excellent fit for a non-believer. I didn’t have to bear witness of things I didn’t believe, or share the gospel with my friends, or try to figure out a way to teach a good lesson when all the references were quotes that made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. I planned parties. I attended the first 15 minutes of ward council, where we talked about the calendar, and then I left. It was a lot of fun, and there were some events coming up that I was rather looking forward to (along with things I wasn’t, like a “Finish the Book of Mormon” bash.) But there was a hurricane, and I left, and while I was gone, I got released.
I like being plugged in, and I like feeling like the things I do make a difference. Activities are a good and important way to build a community. It really, really helped that I wasn’t just contributing manual labor, but that I was presenting ideas and fleshing them out with a group. I wasn’t just a passenger. I was a driver.
I think it’s important that I examine my motives for the decisions I make about “Mormon Stuff.” I don’t want to delude myself. The more I think about it, the more I realize that what bothers me most about being seen as “defective” is that it immediately pushes me to the margins.
I don’t want to be on the margins, looking on as other people make a difference, and make things happen. I want to make things happen.
I think I am not alone in this. Most people like having their abilities recognized. I think more of us aspire to leadership than will admit it. One potential positive I see in going somewhere else is that I can probably get involved to whatever extent I like, in whatever area I like.
I have been essentially callingless for almost three years. I had a brief, happy burst of engagement as activities committee chair, which was an excellent fit for a non-believer. I didn’t have to bear witness of things I didn’t believe, or share the gospel with my friends, or try to figure out a way to teach a good lesson when all the references were quotes that made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. I planned parties. I attended the first 15 minutes of ward council, where we talked about the calendar, and then I left. It was a lot of fun, and there were some events coming up that I was rather looking forward to (along with things I wasn’t, like a “Finish the Book of Mormon” bash.) But there was a hurricane, and I left, and while I was gone, I got released.
I like being plugged in, and I like feeling like the things I do make a difference. Activities are a good and important way to build a community. It really, really helped that I wasn’t just contributing manual labor, but that I was presenting ideas and fleshing them out with a group. I wasn’t just a passenger. I was a driver.
I think it’s important that I examine my motives for the decisions I make about “Mormon Stuff.” I don’t want to delude myself. The more I think about it, the more I realize that what bothers me most about being seen as “defective” is that it immediately pushes me to the margins.
I don’t want to be on the margins, looking on as other people make a difference, and make things happen. I want to make things happen.
I think I am not alone in this. Most people like having their abilities recognized. I think more of us aspire to leadership than will admit it. One potential positive I see in going somewhere else is that I can probably get involved to whatever extent I like, in whatever area I like.
<< Home