Depression squirting out the sides

I've probably blogged about this before. When I started getting treatment for my depression, and started feeling better, my therapist warned me that I might have occasional "breakthrough" episodes, where the Wellbutrin chemical bath my brain cells are receiving might not be enough to keep me from being depressed.

Usually, those breakthrough episodes are pretty predictable, and coincide most coincidentally with my menstrual cycle. Sometimes though, they are not. Even though they are usually brief (less than 24 hours duration), they are still extremely difficult to cope with. I find myself re-engaging in all the distorted thinking and self-loathing that got me into this mess in the first place.

The first time I was treated for depression, ten years ago or so, I got scared when I started to feel better. I was afraid that it was just temporary; that I'd be back to feeling the way I had before, and that feeling better was just temporary. That happens now almost every time I have a breakout. Fortunately, it has always proved an unrealized fear.

I'm so, so lucky to have the husband I do. He can't fix it, but he really tries to help; he does what he can. And unlike past husbands, he doesn't make it worse!