Thankful
I am thankful for my friends. In spite of the fact that I have become something of an introvert over the last few years, I think I have a lot of friends.
After Hurricane Katrina, my blog and e-mail just exploded with people wanting to know how I was. A wonderful essay on NPR compared it to getting to peek at your funeral, and seeing who would come. Sometimes the people you think will be there, aren't. Sometimes, the people who come surprise you.
I have friends of all sorts. I have friends who are tons of fun to hang out with. I have friends who I may not hear from often, but who think of me often enough, and kindly. But the friend that I am most thankful for is the friend who told me something hard, because she wanted to help.
Back when I was going through my really angry phase with the Mormons, I wrote fairly regularly on the Usenet discussion group soc.religion.mormon. My husband is a regular reader and very infrequent writer in the same place. Every once in a while, my cynical, snotty side would come out in something that I wrote. My friend sent me an e-mail after several months of this. She posed a question: "I wonder how it makes your DH feel, reading the harsh things the woman he loves has to say about the church he loves."
At first, I was taken aback. And then, I was a little pissed off. And then, I was embarrassed. And then, I cried.
I don't think I ever said anything to my DH about the letter. I just stopped. Because I knew exactly how he felt. He felt hurt. It wasn't important to say what I was saying. It was important not to hurt my husband.
My friend did not write what she said because she wanted to upset me, or because she thought she knew better than me. She just wanted me to look at what I was doing and think about it. She told me a hard thing, and it made things better.
After Hurricane Katrina, my blog and e-mail just exploded with people wanting to know how I was. A wonderful essay on NPR compared it to getting to peek at your funeral, and seeing who would come. Sometimes the people you think will be there, aren't. Sometimes, the people who come surprise you.
I have friends of all sorts. I have friends who are tons of fun to hang out with. I have friends who I may not hear from often, but who think of me often enough, and kindly. But the friend that I am most thankful for is the friend who told me something hard, because she wanted to help.
Back when I was going through my really angry phase with the Mormons, I wrote fairly regularly on the Usenet discussion group soc.religion.mormon. My husband is a regular reader and very infrequent writer in the same place. Every once in a while, my cynical, snotty side would come out in something that I wrote. My friend sent me an e-mail after several months of this. She posed a question: "I wonder how it makes your DH feel, reading the harsh things the woman he loves has to say about the church he loves."
At first, I was taken aback. And then, I was a little pissed off. And then, I was embarrassed. And then, I cried.
I don't think I ever said anything to my DH about the letter. I just stopped. Because I knew exactly how he felt. He felt hurt. It wasn't important to say what I was saying. It was important not to hurt my husband.
My friend did not write what she said because she wanted to upset me, or because she thought she knew better than me. She just wanted me to look at what I was doing and think about it. She told me a hard thing, and it made things better.
3 Comments:
Your friend, like you, is lovely people.
I guess I'm stuck in the cynical, snooty phase.
I had some one point out very harshly to me I was being a snit about the church. They did it with other motives but after some time i realized they were actually right. I wish they had presente it to me more like your friend did for you.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home