A Lose-Lose Situation
The whole thing is so appalling that I can barely articulate my feelings about it. You know what I mean. The Terry Schiavo case. What a mess. What a nightmare.
DH and I looked at the living will form for our state, and we are not satisfied. If two MDs decide after five days that I have no reasonable chance for recovery (the standard here) and I leave a living will stating that I don't wish to be kept alive under those circumstances - does that mean they unplug me from the respirator even if my DH just wants a day or two to get used to the idea?
We both know what the other wants, and we trust each other. We've made sure the kids know. We don't want to suffer when there's no hope. We don't want our bodies to be kept alive when we have no consciousness. But we want to allow each other the chance to come to terms with what's happened, especially if the one that's going to die isn't suffering.
It has been recommended to us by an attorney that we look into a procedural document, rather than a structural document. Rather than identifying the results we want to obtain, we would identify the process by which those results would be achieved. It sounds like a good idea; I wish I knew where to start.
DH and I looked at the living will form for our state, and we are not satisfied. If two MDs decide after five days that I have no reasonable chance for recovery (the standard here) and I leave a living will stating that I don't wish to be kept alive under those circumstances - does that mean they unplug me from the respirator even if my DH just wants a day or two to get used to the idea?
We both know what the other wants, and we trust each other. We've made sure the kids know. We don't want to suffer when there's no hope. We don't want our bodies to be kept alive when we have no consciousness. But we want to allow each other the chance to come to terms with what's happened, especially if the one that's going to die isn't suffering.
It has been recommended to us by an attorney that we look into a procedural document, rather than a structural document. Rather than identifying the results we want to obtain, we would identify the process by which those results would be achieved. It sounds like a good idea; I wish I knew where to start.
4 Comments:
How about just a medical power of attorney, giving each other the right to determine what course of action to take? Most states like those better. In it you can state your feelings, but give full power to your spouse to decide.
Yeah, this Sciavo situation is terrible. It became particularly awful when it turned into a political circus--facts be damned; we've got a cause to advance! My wife wants us to write something up so that we don't end up like Terry Sciavo. It's not something I even want to think about.
Interesting how fast the shock waves spread; I was in a doctor's office today, and a question they ask all the patients now that is, "Do you have a living will?" They've never asked that before.
I never thought about wanting a few days before pulling the plug so we could come to terms with the reality a situation like this would cause, something to think about.
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