Things that happened today

The test went well. The only concern was how to read a 200% increase. I did it right...but I don't know if that's what she really meant to say. But it's probably only like 2% of my grade. So if I missed it, it's a 98 instead of a 100.

I went to pick up small son after I was done with school stuff and all the children ran up to me. "Hi Miss Ann!" Many hugs. It was cool.

And for Brenda, when she gets back from the Beach, here is an easy recipe for barbecued pork loin. It takes a long time, but you don't have to actually do much. Bake it for 3 hours, tear it apart, mix up some stuff, and cook it over very low heat, stirring 2-3 times, for another hour. It's my older sons FAVORITE meal. Buy some good rolls and it's a very, very tasty meal. Watch the meat quantity! I used a larger hunk of pork tenderloin when I made this yesterday, but I didn't adjust the amount of sauce. It was still tasty, but it needed more sauce.

Experimenting upon the word

I went ahead and signed up for gmail. My name was available for login, it was real easy to do, and I don't mind ads. I guess if I don't mind Big Bubba reading my blog, I don't know why I'd mind him reading my e-mail.

In other news about me, the drug I had been taking for my knee is not on my insurance company's approved formulary, which means I'd be paying $40/month for it out of pocket. So, I'm trying something else, instead: Naproxen Sodium 550 mg twice a day. The patient information leaflet says that for arthritis it can take up to two weeks to work. Ouch!

Still more news: The job I had interviewed for several weeks ago is still available. They have not made a decision, and I am still in the running. I have been mentally composing a follow-up e-mail for a day or so. I'll probably write it up and send it off today.

My final is today. I'm sure I'll do fine.

Left-wing political diatribe

I still need to read some books to be sure of this: Richard Clarke's book, and Woodward's. But nobody is saying this, and it bugs the heck out of me that nobody is saying it. So, I'm going to say it.

Going to war with Iraq was a stupid mistake. Bush had an Iraq war on his agenda from Day One, and used trumped up evidence of What He Wanted To Hear to justify an act of aggression against a hostile country that posed no immediate threat to us. In the process, our armed forces have been distracted from the real enemy (the stateless terrorists that nobody knows how to fight), have been spread too thin, and are now enmeshed in a country that appears increasingly chaotic and on the verge of civil war.

The war in Iraq has nothing to do with the war on terrorism. They are two separate things, and the war in Iraq is a distraction from and a drain on the resources needed in the war on the real threat to the United States and other free countries: Al Qaeda.

Nobody is saying anything because the 'Publicans portray any criticism as being unsupportive of our armed forces. Well, pardon me, but that's a load. Those of us who oppose the war honor and respect the men and women in our armed services, who are in harm's way because our arrogant, God-fearing, commander-in-chief, on a mission from said God, put them there for no good reason. This is not a war on terror. This is Mr. Bush's war. He started it. Now we have to clean up the mess.

I'm usually not real big on "assigning blame," except as a joke. That is, once you assign blame, you can move on and solve the problem. But it's going to get worse if we don't replace this man. Blame must be assigned so that people can take action. The appropriate action is to vote for John Kerry in November. Because I am absolutely confident that he would never have made such a mistake.

Can you say "Loser"?

This morning, one of the parents at the day care center where I've been filling in mentioned to a teacher, and to the director, that s/he had seen me drag a child by the arm. Which I did. But not far. A couple of feet. He'd done a "drop" on me when I was trying to get him from one place to another.

I shouldn't have done it, but it's not like I'd received any specific instructions about it. But of course, I know better. And now, they won't be using me for the next two weeks. It's been great working with me, and blah, blah, blah, but because I was an untrained temp, they're just going to make do without me, rather than expose the university to the risk of a lawsuit.

I feel like such a complete idiot. In another place, I would have used a different word than "complete," but I don't like cussing on my blog. Not only an idiot. A failure. I liked the work. The pay was crap, and it wasn't a career move. But it was money coming in, and at least I was doing SOMETHING. And now I'm not even doing that.

This is an exercise in self-honesty. I was not going to write anything about this. It's so *&()$&* embarassing and stupid. But what was I going to do? Pretend I don't have time to read and comment on blogs, when I have nothing but time? Again?

I think I've figured out the solution to the knee puzzle

I had thought that my knee stopped hurting either because of drugs, or because of the passage of time. Well, it was definitely the drugs. I didn't take the drug last night and I was in pretty major pain all morning. I took it about 11:30 and it's already much better. Could be the placebo effect, I suppose.

Little boy has been nattering for almost two solid hours about a camping trip with his daddy. Daddy is about ready to lose his mind. I seem to be much better at tuning him out. He has reached the age (almost 5) where pretend listening only works sometimes. If you make an appropriate comment every 5-7 minutes, though, you only have to listen for about 30 seconds every 5-7 minutes. I had recently begun to think that I was losing my touch at multi-tasking, but I'm doing just fine listening to the little boy natter and reading, or washing dishes, so perhaps I'm better at multi-tasking than I thought.

The magnolias are thinking about blooming. There is a lovely row of small trees down the road from my house on the median (on Rue Rochelle by Gause, for Randy). When they stop thinking about blooming and actually do bloom, I think I will break down and post a picture, because I am so excited at the prospect.

It is raining pretty persistently today. This is good; we needed the rain. Also, DH got the back yard cut yesterday. If he'd waited it would have been at least another week before he could cut it, because our back yard never really drains...it just sort of dries up, but not really.

We have a cardinal nesting in the back yard. Also, the yard is full of squirrels. We have a scrubby shrub in the northwest corner of our lot that is rapidly taking over. I want to cut it back or remove it and replace it with something less aggressive and more attractive; DH likes it and wants to keep it. I almost have him persuaded that a few native plants would provide the more natural-looking habitat he wants, while preventing said habitat from growing out of control. Also, we need to plant things that grow in lots of water, because our back yard is always wet.

I need to hire a gardener. Joe, when are you coming to town?

Amazing stuff out there

At the top of my list of "blogs I like" is Marginal Revolution. Over on the right. See it? Read it. These guys are AMAZING. Total free trade geeks, but so amazingly interesting. Recent articles have included a short script illustrating the commission hearings investigating the aftermath of an asteroid collision, the economic impact of anarchy in Somalia, the effects of caste (in India) on people's performance in a contest, and (similarly) the effects of sex on performance in a competition in the U.S.

Apparently, everything has an economic POV. Wonderful stuff. I had thought of emailing the writers (Drs. Tabarrok and Cowen of George Mason U.) but decided, Wayne-like, that I'm not worthy.

In other news: Friends from the Folk of the Fringe are coming to New Orleans for a visit, and we're going to go play together on Monday. Mommy1 and Oldfart48 are coming in from (mumble, smarf) and Joe is coming in from Texas. A cemetery tour, a streetcar ride, and decent Mexican food are on the agenda. I'm looking forward to it!

My Achilles tendons hurt like hell. My knee is better, but not yet fixed. I'm not sure if the shoe orthotics I'm using are the right choice. Maybe I should stop in to Bayou Foot Care next week and see if they can help me.

DH cut the grass today. He tabulated, and realizes he's found, as of today, two species of frog, two species of lizard, and a species of snake in our yard; more herps than he's ever found in any yard he's lived in. Louisiana is herp heaven. We found a very large dead snake when driving last week, that seemed to have been beheaded. It was a water snake, and this was in a low-lying area. Beautiful colors, perfectly harmless, and probably pregnant. He was annoyed with whatever Bubba thought it a threat.

I have mountains of laundry to do. Laundry is a good task when you have mobility problems, because so much happens automatically. Only the moving of laundry from machine to machine is a challenge.

Grad Night and other excitement

My older son left tonight for three days at the House of Mouse, in Orlando. The entire senior class is going to Disney World. He's really excited about it. I hope he has tons of fun.

My knee is doing much better. It's either the drug, time, or both. I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth; I'm very glad not to be in pain. My ankles still hurt, but not as bad as they did last week. I was on my feet a lot today, because my knee was so much better. I even took the brace off after lunch. It was digging into my fat leg. I really need to get serious about losing weight.

I have been peeking in on the Foyer for a few minutes each day, but not posting, because I don't have much to say, really. I read the thread about the folks missing me, and I'd like to say that it's nice to be missed. But really, I don't expect to post again.

And in more very good news, the ads at the top of my blog are no longer mormon related. I think replacing the top spot of links with Bruce Springsteen lyrics instead of the DMU sites helped. And Dave still hasn't dropped me from the links on his page.

Better living through chemistry

I went to the MD tonight. I did not get the pain shot (I'm not in that much pain). I did not get the Rx for Tylenol #3 (with codeine) filled, either (I'm not in that much pain). I am taking the samples of Bextra, similar to Celebrex, as a treatment for inflammation. It will have the added benefit of working for my tendonitis, too (which is much better than it was last week). The MD wants me to come in for x-rays at my convenience. It'll probably be next week. He's treating it as if it's arthritis. I don't really think that's what it is. But I will try to hearken to Jo's wise counsel and start walking more.

The Global Wildlife Center (link below) was a great adventure. My little boy was frightened of the very large horns on the very large Watusi cattle. He was also frightened by the American Bison. We saw four giraffes - a 22 year-old male, a 9 year-old female, and their two year- and one year-old daughters. The male was very, very tall. The zebras have become quite a talking point for the little boy. According to the tour guide, zebras show both affection and aggression by biting. So, if they like you, they'll bite you. If they don't like you, they'll bite you harder. Sounds like a lose/lose thing. In any case, we were not permitted to feed the zebras. Each child got a cup of dried corn to throw to the animals. The giraffes, Watusi cattle, bison and Watusi cattle would eat from your hand. I fed the giraffe by hand, but small boy wanted none of it. Some may think he's wimpy. I think he's wisely cautious.

The bus ride back was quite a highlight for me. Yes, the bus ride. School buses here are privately owned and operated, and this bus had an awesome sound system. The driver, Mr. Mathews, plugged in some early/mid 70's R&B and we jammed all the way home. My favorite was Love Train, by the O'Jays. I defy anyone over the age of 40 to listen to that song without wanting to dance. Even with a bum knee!

I'm too young to be falling apart

I'm going to whine. You have been warned.

Last night, while waiting in line with my son to have our signatures notarized on his permission slip for grad night (not bad at all...they were very efficient), my right knee started to hurt. I had to walk pretty slowly to the car to get home. By the end of the evening, it hurt quite a bit to bend it, though it wasn't painful to put weight on it.

This morning, it felt much better, but by lunchtime at my job, I was having intermittent terrible pain in my knee. It would come and go, and when it would hit I could sit for a few minutes and then I would be OK again. A couple of times, it felt like my knee was going to go out from under me, but sideways.

At lunch, while driving around, I happened upon a Walgreen's and bought a knee brace with side supports. It helped a lot. I went to the quick care primary care, no appointment clinic near my house after I got home, but even though they are open until 7:00, they weren't seeing any new patients as of 5:30 because four people were already waiting. Grr. I didn't want to go to the ER because it's a $50 copay if they don't admit you, and they aren't going to admit me for this.

Tomorrow, we are taking a field trip to the Global Wildlife Center in Folsom. It's like a zoo, except the animals are free (within constraints) and the people are in carts. It's in Tangipahoa Parish, about an hour drive from the center. We will be gone for about six hours. Most of the time at the refuge is spent in the carts, so between that and the bus ride I will be able to sit most of the time. I'm hoping to be able to leave a bit early so I can get in to the quick care clinic at the end of the day. Because what's the use of paying through the nose for health insurance if you are suffering, right?

Anyhow, I just hope I don't fall down or anything stupid like that tomorrow.

One more thing...

Dave mounted a spirited defense of apostates on By Common Consent (linked at right) in the "People leave because of sin" thread over there. Well done, Dave.

Signed up for fall classes

I pre-registered for fall classes. I will be taking Personnel Management and Microeconomics. I am quite excited about the Econ class, because I have so enjoyed the blog Marginal Revolution (linked at right), written by two economists with occasional guest bloggers.

This summer, I will take Organizational Communications. The final is the day before my niece's wedding, so I'll either need to take it early or skip the wedding. I hope the instructor will let me take it early.

Great day at work yesterday

Apparently, the potty gods smile on you when you volunteer to change diapers, rather than doing it only because it's required. Not a single dirty diaper, and I'm getting more efficient, so I even had time to go outside and play with the kids when I was done.

Achilles Tendonitis

According to the symptoms described at this page on foot.com I probably have inflamed achilles tendons. Yes, plural, because both of them are extremely painful. This hit my mother when she was about my age, I think, and now she's being treated for a torn tendon (though not the achilles) in her foot.

I wonder if I'll be able to buy a heel cup and a good arch support at Walmart? Maybe I'll need to go to Walgreen's, instead.

In any case, the pain is significantly less with activity and much, much worse first thing in the morning. Nothing like stabbing pain in the back of your ankle to get you going at 5:15 am!

MoBlog Participants?

Is there a need in the blogosphere for members of the Disaffected Mormon Underground to gang-post about our experiences with the church in a non-confrontational way, that will treat the believing Saints with respect, while at the same time not apologizing for our own lack of belief? Would anybody want to read such a thing? What would the writers write about? How could it keep from turning into the rant of the minute club?

I've got a great title in mind: "Behold the Fruits of Sin!" That's sarcasm.

Probably would never work.

Foot Pain

My feet hurt. It starts in my heels, and shoots up into my Achilles tendons. It's because I'm Working Hard, at a job that requires me to be on my feet most of the day. I am a very Large Woman. My feet are not used to supporting my weight all day long. Mrs. Cheryl tells me that I can buy heel inserts at Wal-Mart that will make a huge positive impact on the problem. I will do so this weekend.

(Line from the joke Twenty things you'll never hear a Southerner say: "I just couldn't find a thing I needed at Wal-Mart.")

One of the more charming customs I've found here in New Orleans (and maybe it's not just a Louisiana thing, but a Southern thing) is the addressing of familiar adults by a title, and their given names. The teachers at Small Son's school are Mrs. Cheryl, Mrs. Roz, Ms. Keisha, and Mrs. Daniels (whose either dislikes the custom, or whose given name is too difficult for small children, even small children with names like Mikayla, Mykonnen, and Jalashawn). Our next door neighbors are Mr. Joe and Miss Jan. Most women are honored with "Miss," even if they are married and in their 80's. I first became familiar with the custom when a guy I worked with kept calling me "Miss Ann."

I think it's a charming combination of familiarity and respect. I think it's not unlike the old Mormon custom of calling people "Sister Ann" and "Sister Lawanna," which contains not only the intimacy of family in both the use of "Sister" and the given name, but the formality of defining the relationship before God. Much better than the current LDS style of "Brother and Sister Porter," or using a freaking title for everybody.

So, Dave, is that enough Mormon content to keep my blog linked? I'm sweating bullets here, man...

Work Hard, Play Hard

I started working at Small Son's "school" yesterday. It's a child care center affiliated with the university where my DH works. It's a historically Black school, and most of the other children are African-American, as is all the staff (except me). Yesterday and today, I worked with the toddler class. They have 17 children in this class, aged 22 months through early three year-olds. There were three of us in this class, and two in the pre-K class, which is my son's age group (threes and fours).

It is very hard work. I am a desk jockey. I sit at a computer and do stuff all day. I don't lift, carry, haul, clean, or run. But that's what I do at this job. What a change of pace!

It is also a whole lot of fun. I play all day! Well, except for changing diapers (yuck) and supervising meals. This afternoon, I played outside for an hour, from 3:30 until 4:30. They have wonderful play equipment for a facility in the middle of a pretty crappy neighborhood, in a big back yard play space. The little kids do lots of free play. I had a wonderful time.

I probably wouldn't do it for free, and the pay is pretty lousy, but I get free day care while I'm working there. My unemployment ran out on 04/03, so this is bridging a gap. I'm pleasantly surprised that I'm enjoying it as much as I am. And it's only for two weeks, so even if I start disliking it, I can handle it until the assignment is up.

I think it's interesting that I'm actually not qualified to fill this job. It requires an AA in Early Childhood Education.

I had worried that my whiteness might be a problem. In the past, the staff has been very deferential to me, and that bothered me somewhat. But now that I'm low man on the totem pole, I get stuck changing diapers more than they do, so I don't think I need to worry about being "deferred to."

In Which I Vanquish the Forces of Vice, and Solve a Difficult Problem

On April 4 (04/04/04) my computer became infected with a virus. Not sure if it was at 04:04 a.m. or not. The form this virus took was to hijack our home pages and send them to the website findjizz dot com. Yes, it was as bad as it sounds. It did not differentiate among the different users; my 17 year-old was directed there, as were my four year-old, my husband, and me.

I ran Spybot Search and Destroy. It found many problems, but did not get rid of the virus. Adaware found things that Spybot did not, but it, also, did not get rid of the virus. Norton Anti-Virus did not detect the virus. A visit to the web site computercops.biz gave a tantalizing hint: "Delete the file winlogon.exe from \documents and settings\all users." This file does not belong there, and I deleted it. But it didn't help.

After several hours of fruitless running of spyware programs, I baked a pie. I then returned to the project with renewed dedication. I was not done! If my 17 year-old wants to look at graphic porn, he can do it in secret, like other guys his age!

I booted in safe mode, then ran Norton (again) and Adaware (again). I then ran Spybot for each user. I ran Hijack This! for each user and cleaned out just a few things (not much was there in safe mode). I deleted software I'm no longer using, and even removed my treasured Google Toolbar, which blocks so many ugly popups. Then, I restarted. The problem recurred. I knew that I had cleaned out everything the software was going to be able to find on its own. I looked carefully at Hijack This! and saw a cmd.exe running on startup. Could this be it? I found the file, and it was hiding in the "All Users" Startup group. I deleted it. I rebooted.

It worked! I'm clean! I practically danced into the family room. I am still patting myself on the back. What a joyous thing! I have validated myself as a nerd. I'm not just a nerd. I'm a nerd warrior! Viruses tremble before me!

That's why I didn't do any writing yesterday.

Holding up my end

I got lost in the internet today. I had done a google search yesterday on "gay agenda" and found a great entry in the blog "Just Write." I went there (it's linked) and started reading and lost an hour or so. Tonight, I was reading A Penny For... and wandered into Worthwhile (linked) and Fast Company (linked). I did do some stuff for the French version of the GED, but truth be told, I accomplished little.

As I was wandering back to take a shower this morning, I gave some thought to what I contribute here at home. And it ain't much. In the almost-seven years we've been married, I've only worked full time for about three; the rest of the time has been part-time or (the last six months) unemployed entirely. And for none of those three years did I actually go to a workplace for an eight hour day, every day, five days per week. I worked at home some of the time, and did a consulting gig for a couple of years where my only commute was to the office in my basement or living room.

I'll be glad to be working next week (and the week after), even if it's a difficult job with severe yuckiness (diapers...shudder...) and lousy pay. Because I need to do a better job holding up my end.

There's a lot to do when you get off the internet

• apply for temporary work


• visit a friend in the hospital


• go grocery shopping


• cook dinner


• do laundry


• paint the little boy's furniture


• offer emotional support to your daughter


• drive to New Orleans and back


• have a real job interview


• pee in a cup


• fill out employment papers for the Weird Career Move (see below)


• talk to your mother-in-law

I think it was a good couple of days. I even was able to read some blogs and post some things. But I got other stuff done, too. Maybe I will try to make it a habit.

Weird Career Move

My unemployment ran out Sunday, so I've officially become desperate. And lo, a very strange opportunity presents itself. I am going to substitute at my little boy's pre-school for two weeks starting next Monday. In addition to being paid (probably not much more than minimum wage, but whatever...) he can attend "school" for free those two weeks.

In a more normal job outing, I have a second interview with a company I interviewed with last year, before Thanksgiving. They did not fill the position at the time, and now they are moving forward with hiring again. This is a Good Job. Good pay, paid parking downtown and paid health insurance. The latter is a huge thing for us; we pay several hundreds of dollars each month to insure me. It would be very good not to have to do that.

I also went to a temp service today and "signed up." I still need to take Word and Excel tests (maybe I should just send them the link to my exam scores), and I probably won't have anything to do before next week.

Transitions

I apologize in advance for the treacly sentimentality of this post.

In the last year and a half I've spent in the Disaffected Mormon Underground, I've come to "know" many people, in the way that we can only "know" people on the web. That is, they have personae, and I have a persona, and I have come to like and appreciate and in many cases care very much about them as they have presented themselves. They are my friends. I think it says something about modern society that we can be true friends with people we've never seen, and whose real names (in some cases) we don't even know. I don't know exactly what it says, but it says something.

I had a scare last week. Scary things make us want to order our lives. This scary thing has done that to me. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (I even know how to capitalize it properly). That membership is nominal. My heart is not in it. But my heart is in my marriage, and his heart is in it. If I am going to be able to grow personally and spiritually, I'm going to have to detach from the burdens the church places on its members. I know the burdens are there, and as a member, I should feel them. But I've decided that I no longer want to carry those burdens. I am going to more fully live the Alanon view of church I've been trying to live with for the last two or three years: "Take what I like and leave the rest."

With a stiff green upper lip in "The Muppet Christmas Carol," Kermit the Frog says, "Life is made of meetings and partings…that is the way of it." Here are the lyrics to a sweet little song from the film "The Muppets Take Manhattan." Its a song that works well for separations that you know in your heart are temporary, but you don't know how temporary.

I think I will not miss Mormon angst. But I will dearly miss my friends.

I have a Time Mirror

My boys are just a day short of being 13 years apart. (Unsolicited advice: if you are going to have a baby at 39, he should come with a 13 year old brother.) My older son is a senior in high school, and getting ready to head off into the great big world. My older son is not quite five, and will be starting kindergarten in the fall.

When I look at each of my sons, I see not only him, but a mirror of the other at a different time. I have such clear memories of my older son at almost-five. When I dry off younger son after a bath, I remember doing the same for my older boy, and him responding the same way (my drying technique is almost guaranteed to induce giggles in a four year-old.) When my little boy wants to play super-heroes I remember older son bounding through the house wearing nothing but a towel around his neck like a cape, proclaiming himself SuperNaked!

When I see my older son, playing with his little brother or working on a paper for school or blessing the sacrament at church, and when he gets mail saying "Congratulations, you have been accepted..." or "We're so pleased that you'll be attending the School of Mass Communications at..." I see not only what he has accomplished and become, but a vision of the potential for growth and change in the younger one. That growth and change is inevitable.

It seems a shame, somehow, that such valuable things as memories are preserved only by something as fragile as my mind.

Minor Blog Changes

I have more carefully defined my links, and have added some of my favorite blogs in a separate section on the sidebar. If any of my secret blogger friends want to be listed, please let me know. I don't want to publish a link to your blog without your permission. If I've published a link to your site and you want it taken down, just tell me.

(Except for you, Dave. Everybody with a Mormon connection should read your site, so the link stays. My little service to humankind.)

Another beautiful sunny day in Southeastern Louisiana. I think I'll go spoil it by putting on some sunscreen and cutting the front yard.

Back to normal

I have an exam today, and DH decided to come to work, so we are in the city. It would be nice to be able to do something fun, but he is busy until after his last class, and then we will probably just go home, unless Randy chimes in with fun things going on in New Orleans TODAY. Oh, they must be suitable things for a little boy, too.

This class has been very odd...I read the material, take the test, and ace it. That's because it's a required MS-Office class, which I know like the back of my hand. My son is talking about taking MS Certification for Office, and I think perhaps I ought to do that, too. MCP certification would probably be a good thing to have on my resume for tech support kinds of jobs.

During the summer, I will be taking one class that meets every day: Organizational Communications. The prof is a U of M graduate who made me sing "The Victors" in the hallway the week after the OSU vs. Michigan game last year (OSU lost). Other than that, I'm sure he's a nice guy. I'll be taking Personnel Management from him in the fall, and I'm looking forward to making him sing either "Across the Field" or "Buckeye Battle Cry" after the game NEXT year.

DH is just fine. We talked a bit more about the stress test yesterday; they also did an echocardiogram of his heart after they got his heart rate up to 150 and they said they didn't see any signs that his heart may "malfunction" in the near future. No signs of any kinds of blockage. This is VERY good news, and a sign that perhaps he didn't inherit his father's heart, but his mother's. We had a very healthy dinner last night, and a healthy lunch is packed for today. I think he's going to be just fine, and I'm going to secure buy-in from him for a food and exercise plan for BOTH of us that will ensure that we can stay that way...as sure as we can be of anything, of course.