I'm tired of the emotional roller coaster of not having a job. I try, really try, to keep my spirits up and think positive. But nothing is happening, and I don't see much on the horizon. My unemployment runs out in 9-10 weeks, and from what I've read, it's unlikely that the powers that be will extend benefits. They've already been extended twice, and even though there has been virtually no recovery on the job front, extending benefits again is probably not going to be seen as a positive thing.

I've always told the joke: "The Engineering graduate says, 'I can build that.' The Business graduate says, 'I can sell that.' The Humanities graduate says, 'Do you want fries with that?'"

I need a plan. What I have been doing is not working...I need to be more aggressive, I guess, and more diligent about following up. Where is the line between assertive and pesky? What kinds of questions should I ask that I haven't been asking? Should I just throw in the towel and try to get a student assistant job at my husband's employer, and finish up school? Do I sign up for temp agencies now?

Every time the phone rings, I hope it's somebody calling for an interview, or about a job. But it hardly ever is. I want to stay hopeful. But it's getting harder.

I have an interview Monday. It's for a system admin job; not exactly my strong suit, but interesting and with room to grow. I have experience, but I'm not a goddess in that particular area of computer work. The employer was concerned about being able to fill the position, because the job will require some administrative support (such as helping prepare proposals, and helping out with the phones when the receptionist is at lunch). The pay is very good, and they don't cut your pay when you're answering the phones. So I don't know what the big deal is, but some people must have a problem with this concept.

I went in to the city Thursday morning to have breakfast with my sister-in-law, and to do some shopping. We ate at The Bluebird Cafe, a place I've always wanted to try, and it surely lived up to its reputation. My SIL was pleased to have so many herb teas to choose from, and I made a build-your-own omelet with cheese, onions, and tomatos. Rye toast and home fries on the side...yum!

Then, we walked over to Magazine Street and did some browsing. I especially enjoyed the art glass gallery, and my SIL bought a lovely broach as a gift for her daughter at Recycled.

At Accents and Accessories Ltd., I saw something I'd never seen before - a Mardi Gras tree. When I commented on it aloud, the shopkeeper took the time to tell me that he usually takes down the Christmas decorations, but they've been selling so well (hand-blown Egyptian glass with 14K gold paint accents) that they decided to leave it up all year, and so he had to set up a separate tree for Mardi Gras. And ("y'all aren't from New Orleans?") it's a common local practice to take down the Christmas decorations and redecorate the tree for Mardi Gras. It seems like a strange practice, but then, I remember the year I redecorated my silver aluminum Christmas tree for Valentine's Day.

Since I've been out of work for four months, I've felt the need to do something, anything, useful with at least some of my time. During September through November plus a week, I earned two A's in college classes. But that's over, so I had to find something else. Several months ago, my friend Debbie gave me a very nice sewing machine. I made myself a skirt as a project in Home Economics in 7th grade, and I made my daughter a green Christmas dress when she was ten years old. She is now almost 24, and I haven't done any sewing since. Nevertheless, I have been purchasing material and sewing curtains.

My in-laws came for a visit a few weeks ago, and my mother-in-law is the sewing goddess. She can make anything, and if she feels the need for a pattern she will make her own. When they were visiting, we worked together on valances for the bay window in my "breakfast room" (the room off the kitchen where we eat, but not the dining room, which we use as an office). They came out really nice, so I got some ambition and have started making curtains for the bedrooms.

I finished the first set last night. It was a learning experience. I had cut the fabric for the first panel too large, so there was not enough fabric to make a second panel. The fabric was a large remnant, so I was not able to purchase more fabric. So, I cut down the first panel, and bought hem facing to make the hem on the second. They came out...OK. Just OK. They are hanging on café clips, and they aren't really wide enough to look at all good closed. They are acceptable in the open position. Since these are my practice curtains, they are hanging in my bedroom until I get good at making curtains, then they will move into our spare room. I will probably make additional panels in a contrasting shade (they are navy blue) and then they will look good closed.

Before I fix these curtains up, though, I have two more pair of curtains I want to make: Bob the Builder curtains for the little boy (he was with me when I bought the material, and though I suggested a nice, colorful African mammal print, he would have none of it), and some beautiful blue plaid drapes for older son's room. These will be a challenge, since I'm making tab tops.

Tomorrow is MLK Day, and DH is off work. His brother is coming for a visit on Tuesday, so we are doing housework. I was glad to have the family room straightened and vacuumed when the missionaries dropped by unexpectedly.

Sunday night, I watched The Nun's Story. The movie has stuck with me for several days. It's the story of a talented, strong woman who enters an order of cloistered nuns and who, in the end, is unable to remain. I was transfixed by the final scene, where Audrey Hepburn sets aside her habit, veil, crucifix and wedding ring, dons some simple clothing suited for the secular world, and walks out through a door, down an alley, and walks off the screen. She strove for years reform herself into the nun she was expected to be. In the end, she examined her heart, determined that she was not, and never would be, a true nun, and she left.

I haven't written in over a week, despite a plea from Brenda ("Christmas over. Tree Down. Write something new in yer blog, fer Pete's sake!")

Was anybody else slightly broken-hearted when Pete Rose admitted he had bet on baseball? I was born in Dayton, Ohio, just north of Cincinnati, and grew up on Columbus, just 70 miles east of Dayton, and in my house, Pete Rose was a Hero. I was a slip of a girl in The Big Red Machine days, and the Machine was an amazing thing to behold. After free agency, when the Reds couldn't afford the best players any more, Marge Schott had a plane fly over Riverfront Coliseum with a banner saying: "Pete, Joe, Tony, Help! Love, Marge."

It's not that I believed Pete. I thought he was probably lying. But I wanted to believe I was wrong.

The Christmas tree is down and Christmas is almost all cleaned up. Little boy is listening to a Jill Trinka CD and playing with his new "Hulk Hands," that he has wanted for ever so long (since the last big tropical storm, in July, I think) that he bought with the $$ he got from Grandma and Grandpa A.

It has been so warm here today! A high of 75, with 70% humidity. We opened many windows and all the ceiling fans have been going. It was still a bit uncomfortable, but I just couldn't see turning on the air conditioning on January 3.

My house has been so tidy (for us) the last few days, at least in the public areas, that I want to try to keep it that way. I've been a bit of a tyrant about cleaning, but maybe the guys will take the hint and I won't have to nag all the time.

I bought fabric last night for curtains for two rooms. I will make the plain navy ones first, for temporary installation in my room. Then I'll make the plaid ones for older son. Small son has been asking for "Bob the Builder," But I'm thinking something more generic, like African Mammals, will be more enduring.

The in-laws have come and gone. They are wonderful guests; low maintenance, kind, and easy-going. On the other hand, they were always here. FIL is in poor health, and I am notoriously low in empathy for such things. I found myself thinking on more than one occasion, "Stop saying 'What?' and put in your damn hearing aids, man!" I know that I will be old one day, but I will at least have the good grace to not be annoying about it. I know, I'm so selfish.

MIL is a joy. She helped me break in my new sewing machine by making some valances for the bay window in our breakfast room. I can't believe what a huge difference just two yards of fabric makes! I'm so excited about sewing now that I think I'm going to make matching napkins, chair pads and a table runner. But first, I want to make curtains for older son's room. And small son's room. And my room. I have blinds in all these windows, but no curtains. When I've practiced on all the bedrooms, I'll make draping curtains for the front windows.

I took them house hunting one day, and enjoyed it very much. FIL said I should go into real estate sales. I'm also thinking I might want to do H. & R. Block training...I'm good with taxes, I might want to be an accountant, and I'm starting to get nervous about not having a job.

I had an interview at local bank Monday, and it went really well. I thoroughly enjoy interviews. Maybe that's why I don't have the job I want yet...the interviewers think I'm not serious enough because I enjoy the interview. No more negative thinking. I will find the job I want. I just need to keep looking and think positive.