Found buried at Dave's Mormon Inquiry

"I would describe myself as an informed, discouraged, liberal, honest, practicing Mormon. Yes, there is tension lurking in that mix of adjectives, but life isn't perfect."

Amen.

Location, location, location

bold the states you've been to, underline the states you've lived in and italicize the state you're in now...

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Go HERE to have a form generate the HTML for you.

Strange feeling

Yesterday morning, I dropped Little Boy off at school and headed for work. I felt strange. Something I haven't felt in a long time.

I felt happy.

Therapy Thursday night was very...therapeutic. Apparently, I am getting better. I am putting my life back together. It's a slow process, and it probably won't look the same as it did two years ago, but it's happening.

My therapist was very pleased with my attitude toward money stuff. We've run the numbers, we have a plan, and all we can do is work our plan as best we can and see if it will work. We can't do anything more than that. She said she was very pleased to see me have such a healthy perspective...that "we're doing everything we can, and we'll just have to see" is a very sound, sensible way of coping, and she thinks it shows great progress.

My Fragile Sense of Self

Today I went to get a UPS label and I noticed my fax in box for the first time. The other fax boxes have people's names. Mine says "IT Dept." Threw me for a loop, it did. I haven't been feeling real "at home" at this job. My co-workers seem wary of me. Perhaps it's because I'm wary of them. But with me, it's fear, while for them, it seems that they dislike me.

I'm trying not to be afraid, because what we most fear tends to be what we bring about. But as much as I like this job, I get the feeling I'm not going to get to keep it.

Friday Morning

This morning, when DH's alarm went off at 5:50, I thought to myself, "Hey, it's Saturday! Why the heck is his alarm going off on Saturday?" And then I realized it wasn't Saturday. When I mentioned this to him as he was shaving, he said, "I thought the exact same thing."

But now it's Friday night. I've just spent the last several hours watching Veggie Tales Silly Songs collections. I think my new favorite is The Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps.

And tomorrow, it IS Saturday morning!

Mid-week

Today, when I was washing my hands, I looked in the mirror and saw a strand of hair that is significantly longer than its fellows. I went to the admin assistant and said, "C., aren't you brave about hair?"

C. replied, "Yes, I'm getting mine cut soon."

I said, "Please be brave with my hair. See this strand that's too long? Will you even it out for me?"

C. told me to turn around. She said "There's a lot more like that. A lot more. You need to go to your stylist and make her fix it."

Grrr. Not only is it too short, it's scraggly. Grr.

In other news, DH and I blitz-cleaned the kitchen and family room. Neither are really clean, but both are much tidier than they were before.

I'm grinding my teeth again. Stress, I'm sure. I'm so glad to have this job; we really, really needed the money. Good hours. Short commute. But still, I'm so tired! It's overwhelming how much has to be done in a day. Now, in addition to all the stuff around the house I'm not doing to feel guilty about, because I'm working for over 1/3 of the day, I barely have time to look at the internet. I miss my internet.

Pies

I made a big lunch today, Crispy Oven-baked Chicken from the Just Tell Me What to Cook mailing list, with a wild rice mix and green beans. It was pretty good, and we've got lots of leftovers for lunch.

I spent most of the afternoon making pies. I made a caramel custard pie, and a strawberry bavarian pie. Both recipes are from The Joy of Cooking. The caramel custard pie looks like it'll be OK. My custard pies are always too thin, probably because I use skim milk. Also, I had to caramelize my own sugar, which was incredibly time consuming, even though I did it two days ago. So even though it'll probably taste just fine, I'm sure it was more trouble than it was worth.

The strawberry bavarian pie, though, was super quick and easy. It's a lovely pie, sort of pink for Valentine's day. It'll be a nice dessert for tomorrow.

A Younger Me

I got my hair cut and colored today. I am no longer gray, so I look about ten years younger. I will have to wear makeup again, to keep from looking pallid.

The stylist cut my hair too short. The sides were uneven, and then she made it too short on one side trying to even them out, so she had to make both sides short. Fortunately, I am not weird about my hair. It will grow. DH says he likes it. I think it will help to blow it dry.

Little boy's new bed arrived today, thus ending the bed purchasing saga. They called yesterday to say it had arrived and they could deliver it today. Would 4:00 be OK? Yes, 4:00 would be fine.

At 1:00, I received a call on my cell phone. The bed delivering guys were sitting in the driveway, "but there's nobody home." I was in a hair salon with hair color on my head, so I wasn't in any position to just come home, and by the way, was it anywhere CLOSE to 4:00? They came back later, but still nobody was home (I was in the chair getting my hair cut too short at the time). I called them when I came home, and they delivered it. We were all very nice to each other about the mix-up; me, because I'm a nice person, and them, because I'm the customer.

I keep thinking I ought to write more interesting things on my blog, but I hesitate to spread my fear and angst out for all to see and criticize as irrational. So I save it for therapy, where my therapist tells me I just need to be patient and let things unfold because I've been through an incredibly difficult year. Bless her.

I see something that looks suspiciously like buds on my azalea bushes. Spring is here!

Computer free night?

Ha! This was going to be my computer free night. I'm on the computer all day, working and not playing, and I thought I would take a night off. I popped on, though, "just for a minute," and an hour later, no laundry is done, no floor is swept, and no little boy is played with. So I'm off!

Back tomorrow...maybe...

Mardi Gras? Yeah, that was today.

Today is a state holiday, I think, with no mail or anything. It was actually kind of a yucky day...I was very sleepy last night, and slept late this morning, and even took a nap this evening. I puttered around a little bit, but didn't really do much housework. I didn't go to the city. I was just glad to have a day off.

DH has been working on some research and has practically monopolized the computer for the last two days. Last night, even when I could use it, it was busy running DNA sequence analysis. The sacrifices I make for science...

I did get our taxes done while one of the less memory-hog programs was running. We get a refund. Last year, we had to pay. Of course, last year, I had worked for nine months the year before.

I bought a bed-in-a-bag on sale at Target for the new bed in the guest room. Now the room looks...bare. Before, it was an empty room with some stuff in it. Now, it's an undecorated bedroom. I guess we need to put some stuff up on the walls. Maybe make one of those covered wall-mounted headboards like the designers make on Changing Rooms. And some shelves. DH is a good woodworker.

DH is going to come meet me for lunch tomorrow, and see my new office. I think we'll go to this Italian place I went to for lunch last week with my co-workers. It was REALLY good, and DH and I don't get to try new restaurants together often.

I want to head in to the city in the next couple of days, because I always like seeing the detritus of Mardi Gras - beads hanging from the trees and stuff.

The Weekend Thus Far

The parade was a lot of fun. I've made a small web page about it, with pictures. You can find a link to it on my home page, http://www.annporter.com.

I spent most of the day doing errands and shopping. I took care of money stuff, and was stunned to find that we have some money left after paying all the bills, with which we can buy food. DH says it's called a "balanced budget." I haven't seen one of those for so long that I keep thinking I've made a mistake somewhere.

One of the shopping things I did was to go buy new beds. Older Son has nowhere to sleep when he comes to stay, as he did this weekend for the holiday. And Little Boy's bed is so old and worn that's its become almost dangerous to sleep on. We bought a low end model for Older Son's room, which is also the guest room, because he said it was just fine and he's the one who will be sleeping on it the most. We went a little higher end for Little Boy, because he'll need it longer.

Have I mentioned before that I have the best bed in the whole world? I really wasn't qualified to test the beds today, because none of them are as good as mine.

It's impossible to comparison shop for beds. The manufacturers put different labels on their brands in each store, so you can never compare apples to apples. I am not making this up. Consumer Reports says the very same thing. Very lame.

I keep thinking I'd like to go into the city tomorrow afternoon and take in one of the Uptown parades, but I'm sure it'll be just a nightmare getting in and out. I'd also really like to see the Zulu parade on Tuesday, but it starts at 8:30 and I don't know that I want to deal with the Real Thing - New Orleans on Mardi Gras Day. So, I may just be done with Mardi Gras for the year. Except I have to buy a little king cake for Monday, because I got the baby. Here's a wonderful blog entry about king cakes and "getting the baby."

Parade Night

Tonight we're going to the parade. The Krewe of Selene rolls at 6:30; we'll head down to a spot toward the late-middle of the route in about a half hour. It was sunny today for the first time in a week, and it's going to be clear tonight, but it's pretty cold for us - only about 50 degrees, and heading down to forty before morning. But I think if we dress for it it'll be a lot of fun. Little Boy's teacher is in float #19, passenger side, 2nd spot. He's really looking forward to this.

I'm hoping for lots of throws this year. Last time we went, he wasn't aggressive enough.

Wrinkling the fabric of the universe

At the beginning of the year, I was asked to help out at a Family Game Night at Little Boy's school. DH was not asked.

Yesterday, I was asked to bring a King Cake for the party after the Kingdergarten Krewe of BEE Mardi Gras Parade and Little Boy's school. DH was not asked to help.

And along the same lines, DH forgot to put out the garbage on Monday. I did not forget, but didn't do it myself. Like him helping at school events, me taking out the garbage would disturb the natural order of things.

Fun Quiz

you are darkslateblue #483D8B

Your dominant hue is blue, making you a good friend who people love and trust. You're good in social situations and want to fit in. Just be careful not to compromise who you are to make them happy. Your saturation level is medium - You're not the most decisive go-getter, but you can get a job done when it's required of you. You probably don't think the world can change for you and don't want to spend too much effort trying to force it. Your outlook on life can be bright or dark, depending on the situation. You are flexible and see things objectively.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

Relief

Miranda hit the nail on the head in her comment down below. Something had to go. That something is Psychology 127, General Psychology F 6-9, with a project due in three days.

I haven't officially dropped the class yet (the web site is down) but my stress level went down about 50% just by making the decision. I'm SOOOO relieved.

We had a nice dinner tonight. I talked to my daughter and did homework with Little Boy and laid in bed with a hot wheat bag on my head for about fifteen minutes, because I had a killer headache. Probably all that stress whooshing away left a vacuum or something. I folded some laundry and now I'm goofing around on the internet instead of working on a project for which I have very little information and not even a single discussion of the material to give me confidence.

Plus I get to go to the Krewe of Selene parade Friday night with Little Boy. Beads! Boobs! Booze! Oh, that's in New Orleans. Our parades are much tamer. Beads! Stuffed Animals! Toys Galore! Lots of dance teams and ROTC classes. Almost no breasts. Last Saturday was the Mona Lisa and Moon Pie parade. I really wish I hadn't missed that one. Guess what they throw?